How did you get involved with soccer?
I played youth soccer and was then fortunate enough to play in high school and college. Make no mistake, though, as the winningest team I was ever on was my youth team where I think we might have won a game or two. It never mattered. Playing soccer was nothing but fun and I enjoyed every second of it. With that in mind, I introduced it, along with other sports, to my children and luckily for me they have really taken to it. It’s the greatest sport in the world where all shapes, sizes, and skill levels can play and enjoy. We spend a great deal of time in HYS to ensure that every child is placed at the right level so that they can build their confidence and, in turn, hopefully fall in love with the sport and continue with it.
What do you enjoy about coaching?
First and foremost are the children! I think it is very different being a kid these days as compared to when I was. Their lives are very full at an earlier age nowadays and they have different pressures and challenges on them as compared to my youth. I marvel at their collective ability to navigate their evolving lives with such poise, focus, and their willingness to put themselves out there and try new things like different positions, skills, techniques, etc. on the pitch. The greatest joy I have as a coach is watching their self-confidence grow as this will give them something to look back on and draw from when life gives them different challenges. Also, the way that they sincerely root for each other’s successes is some of the most heartwarming things I’ve ever seen. There is just this purity to it that is hard to articulate, but I hope they never lose it.
The other aspect I take much pride in is being a part, a small part, of this great HYS program. There are a bunch of great people working really hard to make this all work, and work well. There are hundreds of hours put in behind the curtain to make our weekends happen and it is really an honor to be a part of such a dedicated program.
What’s the most important thing you’ve learned from coaching?
Humility. When I started coaching, I felt that I needed to have all the answers to all the questions. Coaching children, you can imagine the number of questions. Kids are sharp and they remember everything you say. What they remember more, though, are their own experiences. So, I’ve learned that I don’t have all the answers, or even if I do for a particular matter, it is far better to work through their soccer questions by experimenting with them different approaches and finding out what works and what doesn’t. We learn as a team and use these experiences to move forward and make ourselves better.
What’s the most helpful thing you’ve learned about coaching?
The great HYS coach, Andrea Berger, said it best earlier – use the other HYS coaches as a resource. Whatever you may be wrestling with, some other HYS coach has been there before and everyone is willing to share. It is a great community and a wealth of knowledge.
Also, develop good relationships with parents. You never know where your next good idea is going to come from. For example, in U10, we needed a way to remind players about some of the Laws of Soccer but do it in a way as to not alert the ref in real time. A parent of one of our kids learned that, last season, an older age group had a code word that was rather silly as way to alert the players to something specific. We swiped that idea and have made our own. If you are a ref and reading this, pay no mind to the above; we just like yelling out random things!
What advice would you give to new coaches?
Be adaptable, especially at practices. Sometimes they come ready to practice hard, sometimes not as much. Sometimes, they just want to let loose and be silly because they’ve had stressful days at school. Have things ready for whatever the mood is of the day. It can be a balancing act. If you want to definitely work on something specific, tell them they can pick the next activity if we work hard on the one you want first.
What have you found has helped your players most?
Empower the children and involve them in the decision making. Don’t dictate, but elicit. Ask probing questions of them. What is working well? Is there anything we could be doing better? Is there a different way that you can think of to accomplish what it is we are trying to accomplish? Should we maybe change our shape for the second half? If so, to what? There is such a mental component to soccer and developing their mindsets to appreciate why it is we are doing what we are doing is just as important, in my view, as the underlying techniques. It also really cultivates their focus and buy in to what we’re trying to do when their views are a part of the direction.
What, if anything, would you change about youth soccer?
About HYS, nothing. I think we’re focused on the right things and have the proper principles. The U10 team I am fortunate to coach, along with a bunch of other HYS teams coached by others, have had some recent success this past winter, and yet we never talk about winning or results as part of our program. I think our focus on development is translating into positive results organically, which is great to see because I think it demonstrates that we’re focused on the right things. I think HYS parents have also been commendable in helping create the positive environment we’re striving for. I do wish, though, that other programs stressed the same approach. For example, we were playing in a different town the other day, not in the Wachusett area, and they had three coaches yelling markedly different instructions to the same player. I felt so badly for her. No adult would be able to follow that, how could any child? Soccer development is a marathon, not a sprint, and making mistakes is an important part of the process. The more that are mindful of that, without feeding the desire to correct it or point it out on the spot in front of everyone else, the better off we’ll all be. Nobody needs their mistake to be made a spectacle of. Small, 1 on 1 guiding discussions on the sideline is where the real coaching should take place for such things. Our goalie let up a goal the other day, and the other players on our team, all on their own, went over to her and either patted her on the shoulder in a “good try” kind of way, or gave her a “we’ll get them next time” high five. That’s what this should all be about.